On My Way
by XaBlackRoseX
Summary: A different way the episode 'On My Way' could have went if the bullying had more of an affect on Rachel. During Mr. Shues' talk with the group Rachel lets a few things slip. No one can believe it. "But everyone has something; something that takes them up to that edge." This will have a David&Rachel moment as well as Puck&Rachel moment. Will either be 2 or 3 chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So this is a different way the episode 'On My Way' could have went. This is AU, where the bullying Rachel endured had more of an affect on her. Also Rachel and Finn never got back together at the end of season 2. Everything else leading up to this episode is cannon however. Please let me know what you think. There will be at least one more chapter, possibly two.**

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Rachel Berry sat on the stage floor, her legs tucked to her side. She stared down at her hands, the rest of the clubs' mindless chatter nothing more than static to her ears. Her mind could only seem to focus on the event learned earlier that day. [ _David…why?_ ] She frowned, her lips pressed into a thin line. Suicide. She shook her head when she felt a pair of eyes on her. Rachel looked up and saw Puck, his gaze steady on her. She offered him a small smile as footsteps approached the group.

"Mr. Shue, why do you have a jar of peanut butter and only one spoon?" Mercedes asked. Mr. Shue sat down beside Puck and Tina, a jar of peanut butter firm in his hand, the spoon balanced between two fingers.

"Yeah, there are about 15 of us here and I'm only comfortable sharing a spoon with about half of you." Sugar added; this caused a few of the club members to chuckle. Rachel frowned further. She wasn't in the mood to be joking around. Sure, she didn't like David and they weren't friends, however he tried to kill himself. They shouldn't be allowed to smile or laugh.

"Well, it's come to my attention that our good friend Rory Flanagan has never tasted peanut butter!" Mr. Shue smiled as all eyes turned on Rory. The small Irish boy smiled, his cheeks reddened at the sudden burst of attention. Rachel smiled at the transfer student. A sudden spew of comments filled the auditorium. _'No way!' 'Are you serious?' 'You're kidding, right?!' 'What?!'_ "Rory if you don't mind."

Rory stood up and approached Mr. Shue who met him half way and handed him the jar and spoon. Everyone watched with bated breath as Rory opened the jar and took a spoonful of the creamy tan spread; he placed the spoon in his mouth a bit unsure. Everyone smiled when he moaned and went for a second bite.

"Oh my god! That has to be the best thing I've ever had." His accent was thick. The club clapped and cheered enthusiastically when he took his seat. Mr. Shue clapped his hands as he sat down again.

"Mr. Shue, while that's incredibly moving; it's kind of been an emotional week for some of us." Kurt said and Rachel nodded in agreement.

"Yeah Mr. Shue, what's the point in all this?" Finn asked. He leaned back on his hands. Rachel let her gaze swipe over to him. He sat wedged in between Kurt and Quinn. Rachel moved her gaze over to Mr. Shue when he began to speak.

"The point is, Rory just had a brand-new experience. Something as simple as peanut butter. You guys are young. You have your whole life a head of you." He paused and looked at each student intently. The atmosphere suddenly serious and tension filled. "I want you guys to promise me, that no matter how hard things get, no matter how depressed you feel, no matter how alone you feel, you will try to imagine all of the great things you could experience." Rachel looked down when his gaze fell on her.

Her eyes suddenly stung and her cheeks burned. "Mr. Shue, I know we're a bit dramatic at times, but I don't think any of us would think about taking our life." Mercedes looked around. Mike looked away and shifted in his spot by Tina. Puck fidgeted as he lifted his knees slightly and wrapped his arms around them. The club members suddenly felt uncomfortable. Would any of them actually consider it? The thought of losing a team member sent shivers down everyone's spine.

"I did. Or well, I thought about it." Mr. Shue said. Rachel immediately looked at him. Her eyes searched for truth. She wasn't the only one to. They all stared at their teacher in shock. "Junior year; that was a tough year." Rachel looked over at Kurt, his gaze, however was focused on his lap. "I – uh – cheated on my math midterm. Peaked at the guy next to me and the teacher saw me do it."

"Just 'cause you got caught cheating?" Puck was surprised to say the least. He had cheated more time than he could count. Surely that wasn't something that warranted offing yourself. Mr. Shue looked ashamed and upset. "I get caught cheating all the time." Rachel smiled softly. Her mind whirled with so many conflicting thoughts. She didn't know how to feel. [ _Mr. Shuester._ ]

"They called my dad into the office. He was coming to pick me up." He sighed and shook his head. "How was I supposed to look him in the eye? I just kept picturing my dad so disappointed In me." Rachel swallowed thickly. A sudden pressure on her shoulder caused her to turn her head. It was Sam. He gave her a small smile before he dropped his hand. Rachel smiled and nudged his shoulder with hers. "So, I walked up to the roof. I went right to the edge. One step. One step and all the pain and humiliation would be over."

The New Directions team looked so heart broken. Mr. Shues' story had them all near tears. Each could relate to the strange mix of emotions their coach portrayed in his voice. Rachel's vision blurred once more. Her fingers curled around the hem of her dress; a strange pressure built up in the back of head and in the pit of her stomach.

"Is that true?" Kurt asked. His voice, soft as a whisper, carried through the auditorium. Mr. Shue held up his right hand and swore that in the moment he felt like it was _'the end of the world.'_ No one could look at him.

"But you know what? It wasn't. You know for some of you, getting caught cheating isn't the end of the world. But everyone has something. Something that takes them up to that edge." There was silence. No one dared to talk. "And look at all the things I would have missed out on. I never would've met any of you or Emma. I would have missed out on everything."

More silence; it was deafening. "I did." Everyone turned and looked at Rachel. She stared at her lap for the longest time. "I – I mean I thought about it."

"No you didn't." Quinn said, she tried to brush it off with a small, unsure smile. Rachel looked up, lips pressed into a thin line, eyebrows knitted together.

"Yes I did. Last year." Her voice shook. She could already feel the pity, the doubt and even the disappointment. Surely they must have known. How could they not?

"You're joking, right?" Santana looked at her for a moment before she rolled her eyes. "Come on Rachel. I thought we were over this petty, drama nonsense." She quickly cut in. Rachel frowned.

Mr. Shue tried to speak up."Santana-"

"Really?" Rachel cut him off. "For years, almost all of you bullied me, looked down on me, called me names, even threw slushies at me." Her voice dropped and she fought back the urge to cry. Everyone was silent. Puck looked away from her, his guilt for his treatment of the tiny diva returned. "Is it so hard to believe that I felt alone? Glee was the one place I thought I could belong, that I could be happy. The whole school had already ostracized me, my dads were never home, I thought maybe – just maybe this was the place. But is wasn't; none of you liked me."

"Rachel-" Kurt tried to speak up, but she shook her head and cut him off a few tears made their way down her cheeks.

"I heard it. All the private meetings, the name calling. It wasn't like you tried to hide it either; you only kept me around for my voice. And – and I thought that was okay. Because even if you didn't want me, you still needed me. Better than nothing, right?" she sniffed. "There were moments when we would all get along and were genuinely enjoying each other's company. They never lasted though. Junior year, green room before sectionals."

"' _We all just pretend to like you.'_ " Santana whispered. Rachel nodded, a sad smile on face. No one could bare to look at her.

"You all just sat there, quietly, not able to look at me, just like now. I never felt like more of an idiot and an outcast then right there." She brought her hand up and ran it across her cheeks. "So yeah, I thought about it, more than once." She sounded bitter, [ _They never even noticed!_ ] she looked at her lap, "more than thought about it." She whispered.

"Rachel?" she looked up at Mr. Shue and saw his concerned eyes. She suddenly realized that she said that last part out loud. She stood up immediately as more tears sprung forth and her face burned from embarrassment. She never meant to reveal any of this; it just sort of just tumbled out. Mr. Shue stood up and reached out to her, but she shrank back.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to say any of that." Her voice trembled as everyone just stared. "I have to go." She quickly turned to leave; she ignored their calls as she ran out of the auditorium.

"I didn't know." Kurt said after a long moment. He stared forward, his mind tried to grasp onto the idea of a world without Rachel Berry. He looked up at Mr. Shue, his eyes full of concern and guilt. "I – I didn't know." He repeated, tears already on the verge of an escape.

"None of us did." Tina murmured. Mike wrapped an arm around her, which brought her closer to him. Mr. Shue looked over each of his students and sighed.

Finn stood up. "I can go talk to her." He threw his thumb over his shoulder in the direction she left, then began to turn around to leave.

"No way." Finn looked back. "You're probably one of the main reasons she ever felt that way." Puck quickly scrambled to his feet. Finn looked at him offended.

"Excuse me?" Finn took a few steps toward his _'Best Friend'_.

"I'm just saying playing around with her feelings and shit, going back and forth between her and Quinn probably didn't help." Puck shrugged nonchalantly, yet his gaze was hard and cold.

"I wouldn't talk if I were you! At least I didn't throw slushies at her for years." He yelled back in Pucks' face. "It was probably all your fault Rachel wanted to die."

"Finn stop!" Kurt yelled, clearly upset enough. Puck swung a closed fist at Finn which barely missed. Mike, Sam, and Rory immediately jumped to their feet, in an attempt, to separate them. Mr. Shue stepped in as well.

"Alright guys. Guys Stop!" Mr. Shue yelled and stepped between the two boys. He glared at them, clearly disappointed by the pair. "Fighting and blaming each other won't change anything. All of our behavior contributed."

"What did you do?" Artie asked. Brittany walked over and with the help of Tina they managed to get Artie back into his wheelchair.

Mr. Shue sighed and frowned. "I wasn't there. I knew of and heard what you guys said about her; I was probably even in the room for some of it, and I didn't say anything. Rachel was always strong, she didn't seem like anything bothered her." He shook his head. "Maybe that's why I never spoke up. I thought it didn't bother her."

"You weren't the only one Mr. Shuester." Quinn said. The others nodded. "She was loud, had big dreams, was vibrant and brushed off all the bullying. I never thought anything I had said or done had any real effect on her." She looked ashamed. They all did. All this time and no one had ever noticed. Or maybe they had and just didn't care enough to speak up.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So this I always thought these two should have had a scene together to clear the air. I know it was important for Kurt to, but he wasn't the only one Karofsky bullied. So here is chapter two of three. Let me know what you think! :)**

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David Karofsky stared out the window of his hospital room; he wasn't in thought or distracted by anything, he just stared. He was numb. He had so many visitors since he had woken up, he was grateful to finally be left alone. Everyone was so relieved that he was okay, well physically anyways. A sudden knock on his door caught his attention. David was caught off guard to see Rachel Berry at his door. She was dressed in a sun dress, her hair down, but the sides are pulled back. She held a big brown paper bag and a carrier with two drinks.

Rachel suddenly felt nervous. She fidgeted from one foot to the other and chewed in her bottom lip. _[Maybe this was a bad idea.]_ "Hey." Her voice was quiet and came out as a squeak, like a scared little mouse.

"Berry?" He was confused to say the least. Rachel and David were never friends; in fact, they were the exact opposite. He bullied and humiliated her while she took the abuse in stride. As he looked back on it, with his 'now' experience on the other side, he regretted it. Rachel cleared her throat and offered him a smile.

"I brought some food and a drink." He held up the brown bag and drinks. He nodded as he took notice of the smell of food. "May I come in?" she finally asked. She didn't quite understand why he felt like she needed his permission to enter. There was this thick awkwardness in the atmosphere around them. It was as if they didn't know how to act around each other. Perhaps that was true.

David nodded, "Oh, yeah sorry." Rachel ducked her head and moved completely into the room. She set the carrier and the bag down on the moving tray. He watched her movements not quite sure what she was doing here.

"It's, uh, Jimmy's Burgers. I hope that's okay." Rachel looked up at him. David mumbled a 'thank you' as he nodded once again. "The drink is a slushy." He gave her a weird look. His nose wrinkled and brows pulled together. Rachel chuckled as she removed one from the carrier. "Yes, I know. Perhaps the best peace offering, though a bit ironic." She offered it to him, but he hesitated. "Its blue raspberry." He searched her eyes before her took it.

He watched as she found a chair and pulled it closer and took a seat. "Thanks." He looked down at the drink while he tried to figure out how to word his thoughts. "Why are you here?" he blurted out. "I mean, we have never been friends." Rachel frowned and sighed.

"True. We hated each other before now. Well – I hated you, before now." Rachel looked down at her hands in her lap. She released a breath in annoyance with herself. She was always so good with words before. "Look, I don't even know why I'm here. One minute I was in Glee then I was driving around town." She raised her gaze to meet his finally and shrugged. "I suppose I wanted to know how you were doing."

David snorted and looked away from her. "I don't need your pity or anything, ya know." He grumbled. He's had enough of that to last him a lifetime.

"I'm not here out of pity!" she argued, she crossed her arms and huffed.

"Then why are you here?!" he snapped at her, his eyes hard as he glared at her.

"I'm questioning that myself!" she bit back just as aggressive. They each seemed to relax after a moment of a harsh silence. Rachel sighed, "David," he looked over at her, surprise. That was that first time she had ever called him by his first name. usually it was 'Karofsky' or some insult that related to his intellect. " – I do genuinely want to know how you are."

Her intense gaze made David uncomfortable. He looked away from her before he decided to speak. "I'm fine." He managed to choke out. It felt as though his throat had closed on him. His eyes suddenly stung with tears.

"You're not." Rachel muttered, and when he didn't turn to look at her she continued. "I know that because I wasn't 'fine'." That caught his attention. When David looked back he caught her teary eyes. "I said it a lot though. They all believed me; My dads, the Doctors and nurses. All those acting classes finally paid off I suppose." She gave a pathetic chuckle as she dropped his gaze for just moment. "I thought maybe if I said it enough times, I would end up believing it too."

Rachel looked back up and smiled sadly, she reached out and grabbed his hand. "You – you tried to kill yourself?" his voice shook, his words stuttered out. How was that possible? Rachel Berry? Suicide? She was probably the last person, he thought, that would ever even think about suicide.

Rachel nodded and squeezed his hand, a tear finally made its way down her cheek. "I thought things would never get better. I thought I was so alone, so despised by everyone. I thought killing myself would solve everyone's problem." Karofsky shook his head and pulled his hand away from hers.

"No, wait. This doesn't make any sense." He looked at her, the wheels in his mind working overtime. "You have everything. The Glee club, friends, two doting dads. I don't get it." Rachel straightened up and wiped away the few tears that had fallen.

"First off, though my dads are 'doting', as you put it, they're never home. Between Dads many business trips for his firm and his and Daddys extravagant multiple honeymoons, they're never home. I get an allowance directly deposited into my account every month to help pay bills, buy groceries and keep myself occupied. They are only 'doting' because they give me everything I want because they feel guilty."

Rachel shrugged as if it weren't a big deal, David, on the other hand, found it hard to believe. "Okay, but what about school, glee and stuff?"

"Oh you mean the school where you and others made my life a living hell?" she bit out. He shifted in the hospital bed, his hand tightened around the foam cup. "Sorry." Rachel apologized once she noticed how rude that must have sounded.

"Don't be, it's true. I suppose I deserved that."

"And more." Rachel quickly added. David was surprised with her attitude. Everyone else had tip-toed around his feelings, watched their tone and words. No one wanted to upset him, unsure of how he would react. But here she was being honest, she told him how his actions had, more or less, led her to think about suicide. "I had no one at school. You and the rest of the jocks made sure of that. Even once Glee stared up, I was still unwanted by everyone. I was the school pin cushion so to speak. Everyone poked and poked at me to make themselves feel better or just to fit in." she shrugged, "They need my voice to compete and win competitions, so they pretended to be friends with me."

David stared at her, he never realized just how much damage they had all done to her. To him it never seemed like a big deal. The words, the slushies, the times they had 'accidentally' knocked her into the lockers. "I'm sorry. I – I didn't think. I didn't think it was that bad." He shook his head. He felt his cheeks burn and the rim of his vision blurred.

"No you didn't. but that's okay, because now you know. You know what its like to be hurt by others." Rachel shook her head and gave him a smile. "But I didn't come here with food to make you feel bad and rub it in your face. You didn't deserve the things they said about you. You don't." Rachel ran her tongue over her lips in attempt to wet them. She suddenly had a dry mouth and was at a loss for words.

"You're a good person David. Despite everything in the past, you're still good. I want you to know that, from here on out you're not alone. I will be here for you. Even if all you need is some to vent to. Despite what others say, I don't talk all the time." David cracked a small smile as the pain he'd pushed away since he woke up finally made its way to the forefront of his being. Rachel reached out, once more, and grasped his hand. "I want to be your friend, from here on out. I want you to lean on me, so that this – " her eyes finally settled on the dark colored bruise that lined his neck.

It was something that, until then, she had avoided afraid it would make him feel worse. "So, that this won't happen again. Because it can't. We can't do that again to our families. It's hard on them too. So let's be friends. Let us show them that we are strong, together." Rachel smiled and squeezed his hand. David nodded and smiled through the tears that tracked down his cheeks.

"Okay." That's all he said, 'okay'. They smiled at each other and let a comfortable silence settle over them. David sucked in a breath as he looked away from her and tried to blink away anymore tears. Rachel went to pull her hand away, but stopped when he held on tighter. She looked up to see him staring at her. "Thank you." His voice was solid yet shaky all at once. Rachel smiled and gave a curt nod, "Really Rachel. Thank you." Rachel felt herself starting to tear up again. She sucked in a breath and stood up. She used her free hand to tuck her hair behind her ear as she leaned over his bed and kissed his cheek. David let his eyes close when he felt her lips touch his skin. She was so warm. There was a feeling of content and confidence, something he hadn't felt in such a long time, settle over him.

After her lips lingered for a few moments she pulled away and smiled down at him. Her eyes shined with un-shed tears. She gave his hand one last squeeze before she pulled away. "Alright, what do you to say to eating this food before it gets any colder?" she asked and walked around to the bag. David grinned suddenly aware of how hungry he was. He placed the tip of the straw into his mouth and took the first drink of the slushy. Rachel took his silence as an okay. She began to pull out the contents of the bag.

David heard his stomach rumble when he saw a giant burger and bigger pile of fries. Rachel handed his the Styrofoam box, then grabbed hers. She sat back down and opened her box. David took a big bite out of his burger before he noticed Rachels food. "Hey, aren't so vegetarian or some stupid shit like that?" he asked with his mouth full of food. Rachel laughed and nodded. She took a bit of her burger and chewed quietly before she spoke.

"I was yes. However, my Doctor said my body wasn't getting the proper nutrients from what I was taking in. He said I needed more protein in my diet due to my active lifestyle." She smiled as she popped a fry into her mouth before she sucked on her straw. He nodded and took another bite.

"Cool." Rachel giggled as she took another bite of her burger. They ate in silence. There was nothing else that needed to be said. The air between the two was clear not that they had confronted each other. Though David didn't quite forgive himself for his treatment of the diva, he was grateful for her forgiveness and acceptance of who he was. Maybe, just maybe, he could move on from this. He wasn't alone after all, there was someone who understood what it was like, someone who got it. "Hey David," he looked up at her, "want to go shopping with me when you get out of here?"

He snorted and shook his head. "Fuck off Berry!" he tossed a french fry at her as she laughed. Everything was going to be okay, they were going to be 'fine'. _[I'm not alone anymore.]_


End file.
